Sketchwright

Originally, I gave this sketch zero stars.  Then I looked at it again, and upgraded it to one.

Original Look:

ZERO STARS!
Awww, c’mon!  The Groundlings are supposed to be one of the best!  They are famous, have a long history, have a great list of alumni (Will Ferrell, Phil Hartman, Lisa Kudrow, Julia Sweeney, etc), and THIS is what they release as their first sketch on crackle.com?

On the other hand, I was recently disappointed by their live show, so perhaps I shouldn’t expect much from them.

Too long, very boring.  The premise is okay, I guess.  The twists are weak.  The ending is actually by-the-numbers decent, but not funny (perhaps only because the sketch isn’t funny).  Zero stars.

*****

Second Look:

Okay, I took another look at this sketch.  The sketch has good structure and a good premise, but I still don’t like it.  I don’t know what to say about it except I don’t like it.  Maybe I don’t think the joke lines are particularly funny.  Maybe I don’t like that the kids on the phone buy into the reality of wiretaps too quickly (they don’t care enough, or at all, about their privacy).  I think one way I would have enjoyed it more is if someone (either the NSA guys or one of the kids to the other one) gave them a somewhat plausible reason why they should accept the wiretap.  I would have liked to have seen a stronger conflict between the NSA guys and the kids.  I would have liked to have seen a resolution that better reflected the conflict of the sketch, rather than the kids just hanging up.

What if, instead of the girl just hearing the NSA guys breathing, the kids suspected the NSA guys were still listening and tricked them into revealing themselves?
What if, in the end, the two kids somehow communicate that they should hang up (like a bad acting obvious “Oh, we should hang up!”), and don’t, and after they fake hang-up, the NSA guys start to talk, and “Ah-HA!”.
What if one of the characters (any of them) were especially smart, and tricked the opposing group into accepting their view?
Also, the description of the sketch when you mouse over the window is misleading. I think it would have been interesting to explore more the idea that the NSA guys are lonely and just want someone to talk to.
What if, instead of just trying to participate in the conversation, the NSA guys tried to take over the conversation more, complaining about their own lives (not the job part) as if they were lame college kids too? That could be a way they are drawn back into the conversation.
“I had like four long island iced teas” “Wow” did not make me laugh, and I don’t think that 4 drinks is a compelling enough reason to interject with “Wow” for the NSA guys. I would have suggested the girl say something way more outrageous to ellicit the “Wow” or maybe even “Oh my God!” from the NSA guys. I would have liked to have seen the NSA guys break their tone near the end of the sketch, even for a moment.
What if the NSA guys aren’t both essentially exactly the same? What if one were dumber than the other, or more willing to talk about gossip or girltalk? What if they had to argue about a certain point?
***
I’m not saying that my ideas are any good, just that this sketch is lacking, and I was searching for some ideas that might improve it. If I were giving notes on this sketch, I would look at the script to see where it could be tightened. I think there’s a portion in the middle where they don’t heighten enough, but I’m not sure.
Anyway, it does have a good premise, production value, and structure.  I’ll upgrade my review and give it ONE STAR.